Day + 125, Drug Dependence

In a couple of hours I call the 'lipid nurse' to get the results of my cholesterol and tryglyceride labs. I expect them to still be very high, but nowhere near the crazy numbers that I got during my three-month evaluation. As a bonus gift, I'll be getting my LDL (bad cholesterol) count, which would indicate if I'm eating too much at Kelly's Roast Beef.

Before I started my treatment, I was introduced to lorazepam, or what is popularly known as Ativan. It's a handy anti-anxiety drug that's helpful in a number of situations, including insomnia, pre-surgery relaxation, and when experiencing chemotherapy-induced nausea. Needless to say, it is the 'Swiss Army knife' of any amyloidosis patient's drug collection.

Originally, I would take it at night to put me to sleep (less traumatizing than the tranquilizer dart). Then when I started treatment I would take it whenever I wanted to sleep, or was stressed out. Then eventually, I would take it any old time that I wanted to relax. Slowly, I found myself becoming the addict.

The doctors say that Ativan is a physically addicting drug, and that it should only be taken as necessary. I think that I was being a little too liberal when I started using them as after-dinner mints.

Well, since then, my body has adjusted to it, and I've had to raise the dosage. I've been looking in my little pill bag, and I've noticed that I am quickly running out of my stash. Perhaps this would be a good time to wean myself off.

Problem is, I'm chemically dependent on it now. If I don't take it at night, I get insomnia and cannot go to sleep. Last night I decided to be strong and avoid taking one of my pretty white pills. Result: Up all night. I had to read some of my work's 401K documentation to finally put me to sleep.

I've been trying to substitute the Ativan with a sleeping pill, like Ambien, but isn't that replacing one dependent drug for another?

Moral of the story: Be careful when taking your Ativan. It is physically and chemically addicting, and the withdrawal symptoms can be very troublesome. I highly recommend it.